southeast asia 06-07

and the winner is...

2007-05-17T07:36:00.000+09:00

really, we're ALL winners at heart. except for a handful of losers. but you gotta love those guys, too. or pretend to.
anyhow, just a handful of highlights (and lowlights) of our 6 months in southeast asia...

best mutton: burma, thailand a close second
best teeth cleaning: northern thailand, chang mai
things they called joren: "hey mister!", "hey boss!", "hey joe!", "mister america"
things they called beth: "missus", "mr", "sir"
cheapest beer: lao, 80 cents for a 40 ouncer
least expensive digs: monastery in burma $1 pp, hut in rice terraces in philippines $2 pp
most whale sightings: indonesia (1)
best diving: borneo
best spelunking: philippines, nothern luzon
smelliest island: nusa lumbongen, off the coast of bali (98% of the people are seaweed farmers)
most jellyfish snorkelling: bali, about one zillion
most potentially blinding whiskey consumed: lao, wedding under a US parachute
scratchiest monkeys: thailand
best travel companions: sarah and aaron tobaben, jesus (although i think he abandoned us somewhere in malaysia)
lost: 1 swimsuit top, dive shirt, about half my hair
most commonly seen kids toys: plastic sack on head, string tied to a nail in a board, coconuts
most typhoons: 4 (philippines)
best purchases: wood carvings from borneo, textiles from northern thailand, indonesian baby
cheapest/priciest massage: $3 per hr, $7 per hr
whispered offers: black gold (opium), mushrooms, sexy dates for joren
most leeches: borneo
hardest visa to get: myanmar/burma
prettiest postcard beach: boracay (philippines)
most mosquito coils burned: philippines
worst roads: cambodia, burma a close second
most common road obstructions: small children, goats, duck herds, ox carts
least western influence: myanmar
grossest thing eaten: raw chicken (sashimi in tokyo), fish eyeball that got lodged in my throat (also tokyo)
best shipwreck diving: coron, philippines
longest river trip: mekong (thailand into laos)
worst thing to permeate my backpack: vomit (not mine), a close tie for second: fire ants and gasoline
best things i brought on the trip: headlamp, joren
most notably missed: cheese, wine, flush toilets, too many people to mention

pointy hats for pointy heads

2007-04-30T06:01:00.000+09:00

ok. some more photos from myanmar. these temples seem like a million miles away... oh wait. they are.
we're back, god dammit.

big and white, just like my ass

this is the world's biggest monument base. the king that was building it died and the rest was never completed. just think of all that slave man power going to waste. WASTER! i'm glad he's dead.

monk on top of the world lookin down on creation

two, two, two monks in one!

more riverside shit goin on

... but still not too busy to wave at whitey!

love that wicked big collar

pointy hats for sale! pooooooiiiiinty hats for sale!

shortly after befriending this cow, joren butchered him and we ate his entrails for dinner.

myanmar miscellany

2007-04-29T01:05:00.000+09:00

ox cart taxi. it's smelly AND slow!

crouching boat scamp proudly wearing her "i heart america" dress. because who doesn't heart america?

we took a boat ride up a river to visit some ancient temples. imagine that.

riverside activity. a whole lot of selling, bathing and everyday life happening. yes, pooping, too.

these reminded me of the time joren went to puppet college.

razor sharp toenails. scratchy, too.

temple statue... it just goes to show that religion isn't scary at all...

get your ducks together, dammit

2007-04-02T21:16:00.000+09:00

little burman man carting joren and his orange shirt around town. the town being mandalay.

this monk is flipping me off. what are they teaching these monks? how to be disrespectin. that's what.

big fried squares of dough, even better with goat or mutton wrapped inside. or love.

one duck

see? you can see him better because the kid is squeezing him!

two squeezy ducks! (ps. i only touched the duck A LITTLE since a recent outbreak of bird flu in myanmar)

typical street scene in mandalay, central myanmar.

little grousy monk.

monk line one morning in front of our guest house. we were eating breakfast as they walked silently by. these monks are wearing darker robes, which means they are evil.

the golden land

2007-04-02T21:08:00.000+09:00

this is a massive temple complex in rangoon (burma). super big and golden. we did some heavy duty praying here. apparently, the way one prays takes into consideration what day of the week you were born and how many years you are. i'm a 36 year old hamster. plus, they count the year you were in the womb which is bullshit. joren was either a rat or maybe a jackass.

we spent several hours here one evening. it was really beautiful and there was some more monk chat happening.

this reminds me of the time we had our teeth cleaned in northern thailand. see the dirty teeth behind the skort? that's why it reminds me of teeth cleaning. anyhow, joren had 5 tooth holes, which he had fixed for the low, low cost of $15 each. i had zero tooth holes.

nuns. they get to be bald, too. but see, they're girls, so pink robes.

a flock of monks! or is it a gaggle? pod. i think it's a pod.

it's a super sparkly temple. to lure you in. that's how religion works. all smoke and mirrors, baby.

Burma Baby, Burma!!

2007-04-02T20:51:00.000+09:00

well, here we are. our last country. myanmar. burma. all the same thing and all very cool. we haven't even blogged about borneo or bali, so those will have to come later, stateside. sorry, we were out riding dusty, cramped buses with chickens, having some adventures and got a bit behind. anyhow, just so you know, we get on a plane in about 12 hours for home. i keep singing "comin to america" to joren's chagrin. today! we're all neil diamond fans at heart, are we not? yes, we are.

sandalwood sunscreen on grouchy kid

i know it's hard to read, but it's about CRUSHING. personal identity, democracy, whatev.
(if you double click on it you will be better able to memorize the finer points.)

you see, you pull up a stool, choose a little piece of duck part on a stick and fry that bad boy right up.

typist for hire. it's like a koolaide stand but not as refreshing.

see? NOT refreshing.

and here's where you can conveniently make a phone call. yeah. on the street. no big woo. who needs cellphones when you have old phones with bad connections on noisy streetcorners? there was one about every half block. the government highly regulates who has mobiles. the man's got to keep the people under his thumb, you know.

another interesting burmese street business. "hey. I'VE got a scale. i'll take it outside and charge people like four cents to weigh themselves." it's apparently a real crowd pleaser. let's see how fat whitey is!

joren, mad. eating indian food. together, our meals were about $1.75. and before you judge, it was really good. beef's got NOTHIN on this mutton!

little kids dangerously carrying other little kids.

watermellon stand. they make jewelry out of watermellon seeds. yes, i'm bringing some home for a lucky few...

handpainted movie signs. we went to a few movies in yangoon to escape the heat a couple of afternoons. it's like 50 cents and the power keeps going on and off BUT they do show a cool government propoganda film that's like 50 years old at the beginning. it's probably about crushing capitalism and individual thought.

i LOVED 1996. i partied like it was 1997.

river kwai

2007-04-02T20:39:00.000+09:00

joren pointing to the bridge over river kwai, also known as THE DEATH RAILWAY which sounds suspiciously like a ride at silver dollar city.

the river kwai under the bridge over the river kwai

cemetery for the people killed while building THE DEATH RAILWAY. it was the death railway, after all.

seriously. we need to come home. joren's friends here suck.

oh yeah. it's new, it's improved... it's BASSY!

this is the beer barrel sort of down the street and around the corner from the river kwai

old capital of thailand, ayuthaya

2007-03-13T22:16:00.000+09:00

snail cart! also, maybe it was slow.

giant head! we went back through thailand and visited the old capital, north of bangkok. we rode bikes around the ruins one day. this giant head made me homesick and reminded me of my giant headed pal, tina, a little.

buddha head overgrown with spooky tree roots.

does it look like joren's about to take off his wedding ring and hurl it into space? yeah, i thought so.

monk bowls turned into a barbell! pump it up, monks!

this is how you buy a pop here. in a sack. just like the porkchops. awesome! anything in a sack makes it better.

kid in a bucket (wash)

same kid in different bucket (rinse)

cambodia par-tay

2007-03-13T22:12:00.000+09:00

so long, suckers!

we had to wait in line to cross the cambodian border back into thailand behind about a hundred of these jokers with carts. it put everybody in the refugee spirit.

there was a wedding party having their photos taken at angkor wat. their dresses AND their hair were rentals.

we knocked on the door but there didn't seem to be a party going on. a beer and some pringles sounded good, too.

this was a memorial to the people who died during the pol pot regime 1975-1979 (the killing fields). estimates are anywhere between 1.5 - 3 million out of a population of 7 million people. our driver was a little kid when it happened. he remembers hiding underground most nights in his village and hearing the gun shots.

more falling down stuff

2007-03-13T22:05:00.000+09:00

see? falling down.

buddha legs

i guess someone perfected this move before i came along.

at the end of a SIZZLER of a day.

i didn't have the heart to tell these cambodian monkeys that thai monkeys totally kick their ass

joren saves angkor wat

2007-03-13T21:58:00.000+09:00

joren sits down to check the restoration plans (it kept him busy for quite awhile)

he's pointing to the "crumbly-ness" of it

wat urchins.

they were SUPPOSED to be selling postcards, but were just playing with sticks and some berries off a tree. lazy kids.

wat crouching...

everybody's doing it!

uh huh. of course it's to this way. read the sign.

angkor what?

2007-03-13T21:46:00.000+09:00

we went to cambodia to see angkor wat (an enormous temple complex), built in the 12th century. after being grown over and hidden by the jungle for hundreds of years, it was rediscovered in the early 20th century and is cambodia's claim to fame. besides having the WORST ROADS EVER. also, tomb raider was filmed there.

relief-a-rific

hidey holes a-plenty

crazy-ass statue park

2007-03-06T14:49:00.000+09:00

we visited this super out of the way, very strange statue park. kind of like the garden of eden (in central Kansas)... the creator's corpse is under a glass dome AND decorated with blinky christmas lights.

the only thing that could've made this better was the orient express roller coaster.

snakey!

naga: multi-headed supernatural human-snake guy

some other tourists, good only for scale

elepant guy riding giant mouse with snakey in background

crazy dogs barking at elephant sculpture

dog in boat! barking at elephant!

dogs with guns!

weaving!

2007-03-06T14:46:00.000+09:00

ooh. silky. silk.

weavers in laos...

weaving their hearts out.

joren always takes me to these "interesting" handicraft places where they encourage fair wages, implement good work policies, blah, blah, blah. in other words: they suck. but the good part is, we usually have to walk about 4 miles in the dusty heat to get to them. (i'll admit, this one was cool. AND we got a slushie after.)

silk before dyeing. check it out! weaving!

vientiane, laos

2007-03-06T14:40:00.000+09:00

there's ALWAYS space for monks. and love.

this was a guy in the sewer cleaning out the sewer holes. maybe the worst job ever, if it weren't for the cool hat.

frogs. legs tied, insides flipped inside out.

chicken! in a sack! double fisted!

joren's fancy one dollar haircut in a little town in laos we passed through.

again, a kid with a sack on her head.

sunset in vientiane, laos.

arch de triomphe, lao style

giant beth head in pickup ride. FOUR HOUR pickup ride.

tractor: standard lao transportation

floaters

2007-03-06T14:15:00.000+09:00

on the way back from the jars, we stopped in this little village in central laos for the day. this particular town hosted several restaurants, the majority of which played FRIENDS reruns, over and over and over again.

if you wanted beers whilst floating, the lady hooked your intertube and pulled you over as you floated by.

the best part: these giant river beers were like 80 cents.

after we got off the river, we ran into our swedish friends, annie and ola.

kooky fun-house rickety style bridge.

all the little kids seemed to have these old timey masks. his mom was doing laundry about 2 yards away.

river kid with stick

school visit

2007-03-06T14:07:00.000+09:00

we stopped at this little school in the lao countryside (on the way back from more jars)

awesome kerchiefs

they LOVED having their photos taken and seeing themselves on the digital camera

most of them loved it, anyway

we stuck our big american heads in a classroom and, of course, completely disrupted some serious book learnin

school window

they were hiding behind thier schoolbooks

this is what joren looks like when i "loose the camera" or "won't stop bothering him" or "don't share my fried chicken leg"

welcome to visit laos year

2007-03-06T14:01:00.000+09:00

i could make like, a dollar over here as an editor.

we met this old guy during one of the 'plane of jars' outings. he taught french during the french colonial peroid and chatted it up with a frenchie we were travelling with. he also had displays of bombs and grenades to educate the local children.

this is the bomb display. ne touchez pas!

and the bomb casings were everywhere

this is a temple in the old capitol that america ruined. ruiners.

just joren being pensive at breakfast. maybe thinking about jars...

little girl in the fields, farming. we were on our way to some more jars.

joren on an old rickety bridge. he got scared about half way over. SCARED i tell you!

land mines, bomb craters and stone jars

2007-03-06T13:45:00.000+09:00

so apparently to go look at the jars, you need to stay between the markers where they have cleared the bombs and land mines. this sign explains the situation. and kind of scares you.

more explaining about the bombs. and how your head will look if step on a bomb. see the skulls?

see? the bomb markers? i'm pointing to them. also, new skirt!

joren thinks he's a comedian sometimes. i love it. it's adorable.

jars! these are the jars! joren will explain their importance when we get home.

crap-load of jars. AND they're ancient!

IN a jar.

like i said, jars.

wow, proof that i can take my moves anywhere. even to the plane of jars.

jar head

makes an american proud

more bomb craters.

on the hillside. look. bomb holes.

joren, in all seriousness, is saying to me, "now the ancient wonders of the world differ from the modern wonders of the world in that...blah, blah, blah" i just happened to catch his not-so-rare "explainy face" on film.

on the road to see giant jars

2007-03-06T13:27:00.000+09:00

these kids were in a little town on the way to see "the plane of jars" in eastern laos. they were giant, ancient jars.
on a plane.

kids carrying smaller kids

kid under a street stand playing with syrofoam

this little girl started shrieking after i took her photo

joren's new ride. he might bring it back in his carry on.

some sort of a travelling pick-up truck shrine complete with loudspeaker

laos odds and ends

2007-03-06T13:02:00.000+09:00

more mekong

at the royal palace, before the commies kicked 'em out

just a nice door

or two...

this lady should be in an some sort of a large umbrella contest, becuase she would SO win.

uh huh. pork chop in a sack.

very cool night market

monks. always more monks.

village wedding, lao style

2007-03-05T22:38:00.000+09:00

we went to a hmong hill tribe wedding in a small village in laos. these old US parachutes were used as canopes. we danced under them in about 3 inches of dust.

the kids were nuts. they chased after our car when we pulled up and literally gasped when we got out. gasped.

they were so shy, but warmed up after a little bit. it was like an oven, but most of them wore sweatshirts, and occasionally a cool hood.

fancy party decor

these were the guys we started drinking homemade whiskey with at about 10 am. i might be going blind.

Loon (on the right) was our guide.

and then, fermented rice wine drunk through super cool, super long bamboo straws. (no. not cooler than crazy straws).

joren is smooooooth.... just like the rice wine.

the bride and groom with ceremonial string around their hands, the priest blessing them, and their string.

kids peeking through the windows at the wedding ceremony

mr green jeans on the dance floor. maybe itching his butt.

there were so many kids. i'm convinced they were reproducing as the day progressed.

joren teaching mr green jeans some american style hand jive

the bride and groom after the ceremony. i swear it looked like she had been crying. i know mole eyes when i see them.the kids were roped off with ropin' off rope.

after changing out of their traditional wedding clothes, the bride and groom came around and gave everyone a drink of beer and a bite of chicken. same cup, same spoon for everyone. kind of like communion, but better.

does this guy look like lee? maybe it was the homemade whiskey at work.

and then the dancing began...

behind the house (on the ground, mostly) was where all the food was being prepared. water buffalo skin (complete with hairs still attached), fish head and river weed soup were a few of the delicacies

joren's primary dance partner. seriously. this guy walked around holding joren's hand half the day.

joren let me cut in for a dance or two. he DID have some moves, and a handful of communist medals on his uniform.

this was the generator supplying the power for the reception. it broke down about half way through. they eventually hooked a small tractor engine up to keep the power going.

this lady was two years younger than me and had seven kids. SEVEN. we could only speak through our guide (Loon) who took us to the wedding. they hold hands here a LOT.

after the wedding, we went to Loon's house for dinner (more water buffalo and sticky rice). his new wife cooked while we took a power nap on the straw mats on the floor. a chicken kept walking in and out, pecking around. when i asked Loon if i could help her, he said, "no. but you can look at her."

these neighborhood kids perched outside and kept peeking in. the kid tied a string to the chicken's leg at one point.

monks monks monks

2007-03-05T22:29:00.000+09:00

we got up at 6 am to eat baguettes, drink lao coffee and watch the hundreds of monks collect alms. just a few straggler monks at first...

then, monk-a-rama!

all carrying their monk pots. people put in rice and other food offerings, flowers and sometimes money or laundry tokens.

plus, free matching monk suits!

monks are people, too. they even love the internets.

laos out!

2007-03-05T22:12:00.000+09:00

tribal baby bjorn. good on the go: working in the fields, in the city OR riding a motorcycle... no helmets!

sunset on the mekong

sure, i look cool. but it was like 120 degrees.

no means no and stop means stop. even in laos.

joren with pointy dragon heads

luang prabang, laos

2007-03-05T22:06:00.000+09:00

our first stop in laos was luang prabang, the old french capital

shhh. i think this monk was in time out.

something ricey and round drying in the sun. homemade rice cakes, maybe? seems easier to buy them at safeway.

farms along the riverbank, also a really small guy.

high school band jam. joren felt right at home. i guess they have dorks in laos, too.

slowboat down the Mekong

2007-03-05T21:57:00.000+09:00

we took a slowboat down the mekong river, from northeastern thailand into laos: the land of cheap beer.

photo taken from thailand. burma on the left, laos on the right. china a few miles up the river.

strangely, it was really chilly this morning (entering indochina). i don't think it was haunted, though. we're at the border of northern thailand and laos, about to cross the mekong.

joren and his new thai wife crossing the mekong. where am i? swimming.

joren pretending to steer the boat, not pretending to be a jackass.

joren and ola, our new swedish friend. we travelled on and off with ola and his swedish girlfriend annie (also impossibly blonde and adorable) through laos.

i'm guessing these are par-tay barges. with roosters.

more mekong river digs

golden triangle

2007-03-03T16:32:00.000+09:00

this is a hot spring with people cooking their eggs in it. nothing in the universe more sulphury and eggy.
nothing.

on the way to the golden triangle (where burma, thailand and laos meet) we stopped at this strange, newly built temple. our guide was a delightful transsexual named Dew. and yes, he wore a bra.

these are the hands of fallen souls as you enter the mouth of hell. not really hell, just a cement and stucco version of it. and it costs like fifty cents to get in.

ok, here we are. the golden triangle. kind of like the four corners, but with opium. also, we're making a triangle with our fingers.

dragon head! freakin me out... dragon head! still freakin me out...

chinese new year: year of the PIG (uh huh, pork!)

2007-03-03T16:22:00.000+09:00

wicked cool asia elvis with broken cymbals STILL jammin it out

black jelly drink. mmm. the genious of it is the very thing that repels you.

giant dragon head and giant joren head

little egg BONANZA

kung foo kid workin the drum

these pants are almost as cool as flea's stuffed animal pants. ALMOST.

just a giant dragon head. sadly, no giant joren head.

monk chat

2007-02-18T22:34:00.000+09:00

market monks. all shopping for orange underpants and hats, maybe.

joren put on his orange shirt to "fit in".

there's something awesome, mysterious and beautiful called monk chat. you can ask them questions and they can practice their english. a list of beth's brilliant questions to follow... (including: do monks ever get kicked out?) (yes)

joren scared a few before any chatting actually happened.

after monk chat, joren though he could hang with the monks, monk style.

some of the monks steered clear.

monk school.

monkey town part 3

2007-02-18T22:29:00.000+09:00

we walked down a little back alley and found these guys eating a cabbage head.

and when we thought it couldn't get any better, they got up and started walking around.

monkey and sack. kind of like our friends in oregon, he was looking to see if it would still hold his lunch

beep beep! the pineapple car is here.

high wire monkey.

monkey town, pt 2

2007-02-18T22:23:00.000+09:00

just a relaxing afternoon at the temple. no big woo.

free banana frenzy: you can't help but catch the fevah. especially if you really like bananas.

this guy liked to sit in front of the hardware store on the dolly. waiting for free bananas.

uh huh. it was monkey-rific. no other words to describe it.

and one elephant, as well. w-o-w.

monkey town

2007-02-18T22:14:00.002+09:00

we spent valentine's day in monkey town, about 3 hours north of bangkok. it has another name (lop buri), but we prefer monkey town. after all, it's all about the monkeys. and the love.

this was the local hardware store. free banana central!

the monkeys were everywhere. sitting on the curbs, crossing the street, on store front awnings, driving cars. hooray for monkey town!

joren at the temple. they give you a stick to keep the monkeys off, if need be. check out the little guy on the left. he looks suspicious to me.

like i said, the stick is for keeping monkeys off. or swinging them in circles, whatever.

you can't shake those little guys off. kind of like the leeches in borneo.(we haven't even TOLD you about borneo yet... there were leeches. and MAYBE i panicked.)

nobody freak out, it's just the littlest monkey of all.

okay, this is what we were really supposed to be looking at. yeah right, with all those monkeys

what could make monkey town even better? yes, chicken foot soup.

monkeys and more

2007-02-18T22:13:00.002+09:00

these are more of the monkeys that were swimming in the fountain at the temple. this one's having a small, refreshing sip.

check out the guy in the water, he is SO doing the breast stroke.

this one's pulling his friend back in by the tail.

two of my favorite monkeys

sneaker waves and street meat

2007-02-18T22:13:00.001+09:00

awesome island swing...
...collapsing under some american weight

safety first, safety second. you can NEVER turn your back on the ocean. sneaker waves and all.

the folks over here love to use the toilet paper for napkins. if i could teach them ONE THING, it would be about a good, sturdy 2 ply paper napkin.

mmm, street barbecue. mmm, meat in general.

sand and maybe a stolen flag

2007-02-18T22:12:00.002+09:00

guy with a shirt on his head oiling his boat

AT, checkin it all out. "reconoitering", as joren would call it. he swears it's a real word. he says his dad says it which proves nothing.

one of my favorite photos. joren and aaron, sunning on the gorgeous beach. sarah, up by the shrub, crouching in the shade. i will add that she was only up there for a little bit and she DOES have sensitive skin.

look at those smiling faces, also check out those sweet boobies in the background.

wow! kid in a basket.

joren and sarah signed up to become thai citizens. i don't remember this photo, so i'm guessing i was drunk and thailand wouldn't let me join up. aaron looks embarassed.

boats and people on boats and also funny hats

2007-02-18T22:12:00.001+09:00

crazy animal lids. naturally i chose the owl, on account of the wiseness (also the big eyes). sarah chose the dog, maybe because she has a dog.

joren's mad so we put him on this little boat and sent him out to the sea. or maybe he just looks mad.

more boat time with the tobabens

this is me, happy, since we're not on a refugee boat like the last night "overnight ferry".

this is what happens when you take your eye off the ocean for ONE MINUTE. it eats ONE of each pair.

just some big ass trees

2007-02-18T22:10:00.000+09:00

sarah and giant root
joren with different, but also giant, roots

joren loved this tree, we had to coax him away with a banana

beth, and yes, a tree

island hopping

2007-02-18T22:04:00.000+09:00

yes, it IS a sloth! moving so slothlike... it completely fruck us out (with joy). except aaron and joren, they went to bed.

kid in a cart. but not for sale. we asked.

sarah getting a giant whiff. we wouldn't let her have lobster, so she ordered a "flaming chicken" to spite us. yes, it was TOTALLY flaming. and TOTALLY awesome.

joren and i went diving in koh tao. there was an underwater festival going on, so as long as we took a trash bag it was free. we got a tin can and a bottle and also an octopus.

wave beach, on the windy side of koh tao

snorkelling. or taking a break from snorkelling, really.

beth's frightening new look. it's sarah's fault, really. she loves a doo rag, that one. and now, sadly, beth does, too.

i think it was the brightness, more than anything that attracted the bugs. they were like beacons.

right before this photo was taken, sarah said, "now do it GOOD, beth." in a very blamey voice, like i was going to screw it all up. and look who's doing it GOOD. yeah, me.

back in bangkok

2007-02-12T23:19:00.000+09:00

Bangkok has EVERYTHING. wow. even this, apparently.

ME photographing the TOBABENS photographing the RECLINING BUDDHA. i know, it BLEW my mind, too.

giant reclining buddha. you see, it's REALLY big and also lying down. gold, too. but that's not part of the name.

delicious thai ginger ale

these kids won the "best thais in pink coats 2007" and they totally deserved it.

aaron and some electrical wires

joren and his new friend. we didn't tell him he wasn't real. we just said he was REALLY quiet.

monk getting monkified

thai version of "operation"

beth paying penance. it took a LOT of baht. also, sarah was kind enough to crop my hump out of the photo.

island whatnots

2007-02-12T23:13:00.000+09:00

we motored over to the windy side of the island one day for some wave jumping. (not as technical as you may think, mostly it's just jumping in the waves)

L to R: giant noggin, giant fruit

one sleepy sand dog

two sleepy sand dogs

this guy was always snoozing on the floor pillows when we came over for breakfast

bamboo swing with american tourists

one of our many happy hours with sarah, except she's not in the photo

our beach fort, complete with ocean view and waves crashing sound track

motor bikes and overnites

2007-02-12T23:10:00.000+09:00

one of about one hundred thousand beach dogs sarah fell in love with. we called this one blinky.

koh tao beach. we stopped here for a lunch break on our motor bike island tour. joren: 1 spill and a broken purple toe,

beth: 1 spill and a muffler burn, sarah: 3 spills and some twigs in her hair plus back scratches. yes, it was THAT fun.

we took a "night ferry" to koh tao. everyone had mats (side by side) on the floor. sarah was 27, right next to a danish lady and the bathroom hole.

our cozy quarters for the evening. it was like church camp, but worse.

these are the pigs you had to step on, over, around to get on and off the overnight ferry/refugee boat.

koh tao is kuh-razy

2007-02-12T23:04:00.000+09:00

uh huh. bathroom signs. awe-some bathroom signs.

maybe even better than "pie" o'clock

i think this is what the thai massage people did to sarah and i.

sometimes we took boats, sometimes buses. other times we were just chicken riders

tiki man! got nothin' to do with you. tiki man! our partnership is through.

nap mat, nap table. whatever.

koh tao underwater festival

2007-02-12T22:58:00.000+09:00

sarah, joren and i spent a week in koh tao (an island in southern thailand), after aaron abandoned us to go golfing. on our last night, there was a festival complete with a 'beauty' pageant.
this guy could play the chimes, tambourine and his seat like a drum all at once. musician or MAGICIAN?

and a play with little kids dressed like sea creatures.

sarah and her new friend, wearing her new friend's hat. she's holding a jug of red bull she "borrowed" from the bar.

miss finland, joren's pick

the popular vote winner, sarah's pick

my pick, who turned out to be a man.

oh boy. i'll let sarah tell you ALL about this night. i'm guessing I took this picture.

this was before sarah jumped into the back of a pickup loaded with finish guys. joren had to hoist her out and throw her over his shoulder. she was a runner, that's all i can say. i stopped shouting "get her!" and "catch her!" after about 172 times. she got tagled up in some tree branches and rolled around in the surf before being thrown in the shower and hosed off.

joren and miss finland. i think she's a guy, too.

sea monkeys

2007-02-12T22:54:00.000+09:00

my parents used to have this sign on our front door

the monkeys at this temple were jumping in and out of the fountain and wrestling in the water. some sweet monkey cannonballs.

the monkey shadow knows. did anyone else used to listen to 'the shadow' on the radio? we had tapes of it. probably from the library.

more wet monkey heads

banana boats

2007-02-12T22:48:00.000+09:00

we went kayaking in a mangrove forest one day and monkeys were all over us! (in a good way).

check out the baby monkey head.

this guy was eating pretzels by the handful! they were jumping from boat to boat grabbing peoples goodies (snacks, not genitals)

shadow puppet show

sarah and beth, expert floaters

phi phi don

2007-02-12T22:45:00.000+09:00

we headed south for some island adventures and stayed on phi phi don (an island that
was devastated by the tsunami) for a few nights

aaron and sarah tasted some island snorkelling, and a few hundred thai beers

the tide is way out. check out the boats on the sand...

the beaches were gorgeous AND we got to see a kid get scratched by a monkey.

bangkok daze

2007-02-12T22:40:00.000+09:00

huh. makes me not want to get a piercing. or have a baby.

de-lish. we did drink a few "buckets" one night while watching old school at a bar. and anchorman. and borat. ok, lots of buckets. and when i say "we", i mean mostly beth and sarah.

monkey grooming monkey

suspicious monkey, suspicious monkey mind

pobody is nerfect, pobody is nerfect.

this guy reminded us of our dearly departed monkey-dog friend, Buster. sarah and aaron's little gift from heaven.

sarah's almost as incognito as joren.

maybe i should have gotten my false teeth over here. check out these grills!

all available while you're waiting on the corner for a tuk tuk.

the tobabs come to town!!

2007-02-12T22:36:00.000+09:00

we will now take a break from our regularly scheduled blog for a 'special' (not retarded) (ok, sort of retarded) event...

our great pals, sarah and aaron, came to thailand for two weeks to visit. sarah immediately ate some dangerous street food.

we visited the grand palace in bangkok the first day before heading south to the beaches...
you know how sarah looooves the sun.

whitey in action

i'm pointing to the gecko poo stain on my shirt, also there's an ancient historical building behind me.

boat cruise complete with boat beers.

it's no float down the buffalo, but we didn't have to paddle.

sandy chicken legs

2007-01-26T14:49:00.000+09:00

the crew on the sailboat made dinner on the beach one night. no, no indonesian s'mores.

and they sang "take me home, to the place i belong... indonesia, mountain mama, take me home, country road..." with a super thick balinese accent. who loves the john denver? me. and apparently the 'ole ole' band.

wha?

2007-01-26T14:45:00.000+09:00

this bronze frog was part of the ANCIENT BRASS DRUM we spent hours on a hot, bumpy bus to go see.
(yeah, w-o-w).

awe-some

awe-some times eight

jillions of real palm trees in eastern indonesia and a few of these beauties.

for some reason, they (the tour guy from the sailboat) took us to see a jail. they had one female prisoner. yes, i went to go look at her. we also gave them cigarettes. (fun). it was very silver dollar city crossed with that one episode from brady bunch where they go to a ghost town and get locked in a cell by an old gold miner.

some crazy little fishing villages

2007-01-26T14:37:00.000+09:00

on our way to see an ancient bronze drum (no, you couldn't play it. "look with your eyes, beth, not your hands"), we stopped at lots of little villages.

"pointy roof" architecture

pointy roof with guy

'stick lady', NOT to be confused with 'branch guy' carrying branches on his bike a few blogs back.

this kid had his hands over his ears every time we saw him.

rusty metal roofed mosque.

SACK HEAD! wearin a sack... SACK HEAD!

2007-01-26T14:34:00.000+09:00

kid with a sack on his head

ALSO kid with a sack on his head

no sack, just a horse on a string

whip fight festivities con't

2007-01-26T14:24:00.000+09:00

yes, there's more to a whip fight than the actual whipping (as if it needed anything else).

stick dancing. it's sort of like a combo of twister, chinese jumprope and a lemon twister.

there's also music at the whip fights. GONG music.

joren blends in like NOBODY'S business...

joren, his sideburns and beth

the people in southeast asia (particularly rural indonesia) chew something called betel nut. it's a yummy combo of a little twig with a pinch of lime (as in limestone) and a small leaf. it produces a. lot's of saliva b. red teeth c. a buzz of some sort which surpresses the appetite for people working in the fields all day. we tried it. wow. it reminded me of chewing on, well, a twig, comet, and a small leaf.

goin' to a whip fight

2007-01-26T14:12:00.000+09:00

whip fights are even cooler and whippier that you might imagine. one guy gets a whip and the other a bamboo shield (sucker). plus, everyone gets to drink some mystery hooch called arrak which might have just been lighter fluid.

whip it good. whip it reeeaal good.

R to L: whip fighter, whitey, whip fighter.

uh huh. REAL whip marks. for real.

no whip marks, just a cool lid.

must have been "wear your cool cap to the whip fight" day.

they have mole eyes in indonesia, too. i fit right in.

wha PA!

stinky sea creatures, etc.

2007-01-26T14:07:00.000+09:00

the pirates aren't as scary as i thought they'd be. also i thought they'd have more teeth and maybe a parrot.

the drying fish smelled surprisingly of drying fish.

squid mat. poor little, delicious calamares.

joren liked to cling to the side of the boat instead of riding inside like the rest of the responsible boaters.

me throwing joren off the boat.

one pig, two pig, three pigs a dollar

2007-01-26T14:02:00.000+09:00

just a handful of the pigs we've ridden the bus with, gone on boat trips with, eaten...

yes, they have the delicious pork in indonesia, too.

we called this guy spotty.

graves from a small village. possibly PIG GRAVES.

everyone loves a tidy tile job, even the dead.

whitey comes to visit

2007-01-26T13:56:00.000+09:00

sailing east indonesia.

knife fight! all poor joren had was a popsicle stick to defend himself with.

hey, mister! hey, mister! (translation: hey, whitey! hey, whitey!)

shell for sale: what do they take us for? we steal that shit all the time.

nekkid beach kids climbing in our boat... jumping off our boat... climbing in our boat...

tall village, joren fit right in

2007-01-26T13:04:00.000+09:00

welcome to fantasy island, but with no midgets (disappointing) and also no scary dream sequences. more commonly known as the island of Sumba (Sailing in Eastern Indoneasia...)

witch hat roofs. (joren told me the technical architecture name)

if you were lucky, you'd see some baby pigs under these crazy huts. who was lucky? me. baby pigs a-plenty.

giant carved pole, nuthin funny about that.

traditional ikot weaving lady...

...weaving. that's what she does.

group shot of witch hat roof houses.

filthy children, nuts and goats

2007-01-25T22:14:00.000+09:00

ice cream man! wait, it's just the branch man with his dirty urchin.

yeah, no bombpops or drumsticks. but some quality branches for sure.

check it out. cashews! so THAT'S where the nutty goodness comes from... also, the guy's shirt says "do not done" which in no way makes sense, but i still totally dig.

a goat the driver later hit with the minivan and hauled back for dinner on the boat that night. mmm. goaty.

head butts and butt heads

2007-01-25T22:05:00.000+09:00

we visitited this tiny island in eastern indonesia to watch the traditional head butting. this guy was wicked on that little horn. he was calling all available head butters in the village.

women pounding rice. their people call it, well, rice also.

rice lady shakin her merch.

these head butters wore snazzy silky pj's and did some crazy dancing to get into the zone.

actual head butting. bonus: beth's head, not butting.

everybody was kung foo fighting, but with their heads.

NOT, i repeat NOT safe for a rascal.

old guy getting up to kick joren's ass.

some lady, beth, horn dude, j man. if you look closely, you can see the stain of gecko poop on my shoulder.

indonesian sailing

2007-01-25T21:59:00.000+09:00

can you see me waving? i'm in the crow's nest flapping my arms.

not joren, but our new friend al.

boat beer is delicious and foamy, much like land beer.

orangey goodness. almost like a dreamsicle.

real, live dragons

2007-01-25T21:50:00.000+09:00

on the boat trip, we stopped at several eastern indonesian islands. komodo being one of them.

komodo dragon hissing at joren and putting a hex on me (which gave me the heat stroke) (really).

komodo dragon skull.

we saw about a dozen or so, including some of their nests. giant dragon nests.

joren's head, NOT a komodo dragon.

stink eye. DRAGON stink eye.

also NOT a dragon.

beautiful landscape durning the hike around the island.

christmas sailing in eastern indonesia

2007-01-25T19:21:00.000+09:00

this is the boat joren wanted us to take.

joren knocking down old people and handicapables to get on board.

i am so on board. literally.

front eating area. where we ate. in the front, like i said.

this is the ombak putih. it means "white wave" in vulcan, and maybe indonesian, too. either way, rasist.

sunset, sunrise, whatever.

Beth dabbles in Islam

2007-01-25T16:35:00.000+09:00

giant mosque in kuala lumpur. beth read all sorts of pamphlets there, so watch out, she's a muslim scholar now.

you are NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK LOUDLY here, it turns out

AND you get to wear an awesome polyester head scarf

Batu Cave, but surprisingly no bats

2007-01-25T16:26:00.000+09:00

this is the big cave temple in kuala lumpur that doubles as an orpahage for pigeons

too many cheap, delicious indonesian beers

from inside the cave (hiding from the guard monkeys)

cave guy (in the cave) (doy).

MONKEY ATTACK!!!!!!!!

2007-01-25T16:10:00.000+09:00

i think this photo totally speaks for itself: "the day beth almost got monkey pox"... Joren wants me to add that we had a VERY long (boring) talk about NOT (maybe) touching the monkeys. (even if you REALLY want to).

we went to a big cave temple in kuala lumpur GUARDED BY MONKEYS

those guard monkeys love the orange pop (who DOESN'T??)

see?

ponderous guard monkey on green thing

one dreamy day in Kuala Lumpur

2007-01-25T15:54:00.000+09:00

check out these beautiful twins...

and the cool buildings, too...

old kuala lumpur (still part of the stinky kuala lumpur)

this is where Beth got her new "genuine" Tag Heuer watch, just before a police raid where everyone closed shop for about 10 minutes

the making of the silk batik. i had her paint a unicorn on joren's cheek.

walking the goat

2007-01-25T15:43:00.000+09:00

Rule #1. Dont' touch the livestock.....

awww. sweety transport. all joking aside, it was a totally sweet ride.

We learned how to do a complete engine over-haul with a few pices of bamboo and a rusty nail.

mmm. starbucks-a-licious. (that stupid coffee costs as much as we usually spend a night on lodging). we needed a little taste of home, i suppose.

typhoon part III

2007-01-25T15:12:00.000+09:00

we were in el nido (palawan, philippines) for our third typhoon. these are photos from the day after... poor, broken boats.

it was just like noah's ark, except with pairs of philippino men

dude, who moved my longboat?

i call this one "stupid american in front of wreckage"

these little kids were playing with a stick and some frogs in a little puddle in the middle of the cleanup.

el nido: el ROCKS

2007-01-16T08:22:00.000+09:00

el nido (palawan, philippines)... limestone cliffs and very pretty beaches. we got caught in another typhoon here. thank god we were staying about 4 feet from the beach with a corrugated tin roof to keep us safe. there was no power and our candles kept blowing out.

ooh, snake island. see? the snakey shape? look. closer.

more ugly beaches.

they'd take you to different beaches and leave you for the day to snorkel, sun and swim. and eat hot sandwiches.

monkey trail FEVER

2007-01-16T08:16:00.000+09:00

when in doubt, take the monkey trail. it'll take you places you never dreamed of. unless you dream about the monkeys.

monitor THIS, monitor lizzard.

we took a canoe trip around in the underground river. very cavey and caverny. (the longest in the world.)

coming out of the bowels of hell. i mean, the river cave.

pimp my bus

2007-01-16T08:11:00.000+09:00

load 'em up and ship 'em out. we like to ride first class.

god bless the party bus.

careful... careful... there's a baby in that styrofoam box, you know.

funny little kids with funny little teeth.

monkeys, cocks and the infant jesus

2007-01-16T08:04:00.000+09:00

i am SO sending our kids to the infant jesus learning center when the time comes.

hey, free curb kids!

this little girl monkey was a stray and the people at the hardware store took her in. needless to say i went to the hardware store a LOT. joren told me not to touch her, but i did. just a little.

joren won 100 pesos at this particular cock fight.

razor sharp. just like joren's toenails.

who loves water buffalo? we does.

2007-01-16T07:59:00.000+09:00

just walking the water buffalo. don't worry about it.

this was in a little costal town called sagada (in palawan, philippines).

step away from the water buffalo, joren.

mens tour '06

2007-01-16T07:40:00.000+09:00

joren, tim and sebastian (from germany) at the beginning of 'the mens bike tour' as it became to be known. about 20 years ago, marcos got a bunch of animals from africa and put them on an island north of where we were staying (coron, philippines) to make sort of a private zoo for himself and then... well, did nothing. the guys thought it'd be fun to ride 4 hrs there/4 hrs back on a bumpy, dusty road. i wasn't invited. i was glad.

joren fell off his bike once, they all got muffler burns and various road wounds. i think here they've stopped for a croissant break.

the safari jeep which broke down 2 or 3 times. they had to push it to get it started on more than one occasion.

i forgot what these were called but the boys (if i remember correctly) were somewhat afraid of them and fed them bananas (threw bananas at them).

tim and sebastian trying to attract the giraffes with branches. all they did was effectively chase them away.

one of the repair stops.

they arrived back just after dark (i was enjoying a cocktail waiting for them), they'd been gone about 12 hours. idiots.

wreck diving

2006-11-29T12:31:00.000+09:00

a guy we were diving with took these cool photos in coron where we were wreck diving. beth was too busy kicking up silt and holding on to her flashlight to be the photographer. there's 8 or so diveable japanese wrecks from ww2. the ships are mostly intact, so you get to swim through rooms, up and down staircases, out through explosion holes (technical name). amazing and very different from most of the diving we've done.

these are called nudibranches. nudi. ha. fancy underwater slugs.

haunted stairs, i think.

swim hole.

waiting for the typhoon

2006-11-29T12:26:00.000+09:00

from the roof of our digs in coron.

our neighbors on stilts.

best waterfront property in town.

we survived our second typhoon and had to change our travel plans a bit, but got to hang our with some fun german guys and pass the time playing backgammon and singing 99 neuf balloons.

stinkin it up

2006-11-29T12:15:00.000+09:00

he was chatting with a little kid on the other side of the fence until i interrupted.

mmm, sting ray soup.

i think there was an important lesson i was supposed to lean at one point about fish and loaves and some other stuff.

fish heads! stinkin it up. FISH HEADS! (try to imagine me singing, if you will)

the holidays

2006-11-29T12:08:00.000+09:00

oh, the weather outside is frightful... humid, hot, sticky... (typhoon season, you know)

joren tried to lift a few decorations. he had tinsel coming all out of his pants.

lagoons, islands and rafts

2006-11-29T11:59:00.000+09:00

some interesting lakes we snorkelled in. the top layer was fresh water, and below it, salt. very cool stuff. when you'd swim, the water behind you would "mix" and look cloudy. surrounded by limestone cliffs.

super james bond-y movie looking.

joren on his bamboo raft. he took me on a ride for only 20 pesos.

you swam through the hole to a secret universe, i mean lagoon.

boat captin

2006-11-29T11:43:00.000+09:00

just one more mode of transportation. i'm an excellent driver.

joren being a back-seat captain. (taking beth's usual role).

this is a lee shout out if i've ever seen one. someone send the blog to lee and show him how to push the computer buttons. (ps. 50 pesos = $1) (pss. beth's favorite happy hour was in boracay from 2-8 pm)

rappelling down water falls

2006-11-25T18:03:00.000+09:00

we went rappelling one day, down and back up a series of waterfalls. there was some climbing, hiking, sliding over rocks, swimming through pools and barely any sobbing. it was great fun, and hardly any drowning.

beth, in a nutshell.

joren lost his shirt in a waterfall incident. also, his pants. hence, the waist-up photo. he's currently fashioned some trousers out of a coconut shell and palm leaves. i see a rash in his future.

safety first, safety second

2006-11-25T17:55:00.000+09:00

pre marital counseling... it's a bit too late for that, joren.

we tried to adopt 3 of these kids, but they came in a package of 4.

the overnight ferry we almost took... joren let us upgrade. we got a bed, but we also got a mouse, and maybe the hanta virus.

it's my policy. also shouting out curse words. that's a good policy, too.

dive. dive ,dive

2006-11-25T17:50:00.000+09:00

in camiguin, we did an advanced diving course. joren's much better with a compass on land is all i'm going to say. we did some search and recovery exercises as well as some navigation (at night) which sounds as hard as it is. anyhow, that's our bavarian dive master, Diggy, on the left giving us a written exercise toshow how one's brain works slower from the nitrogen in your blood. i think imust have high levels on land, too.

joren's bubbles aren't all from his regularor.

hello from the bottom of the sea.

beer thirty for the seal-girl.